Monday, August 31, 2015
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
God's Word hit me up the side of the head with this verse the other day while the Spirit of the Lord was speaking to my spirit, "this is it. this is your verse for today." Why, you ask. Let me share a little of what has been going on in my ever-so-eventful life that has caused me not to be blogging lately.
For ten years, I have lived with an alcoholic husband. Our life had deteriorated to nothing and in February, I felt compelled to speak forth an ultimatum. I told my husband, who I love very much, that I could no longer live with him under these circumstances. I took my 15 year old son and left our home. For three months we lived apart. During Holy Week in April, I began to fast and pray for him. We were in constant touch with each other by phone because I handle all our finances but we were not seeing each other.
Finally, one day we had words about his drinking, and he informed me he had quit drinking on Easter Sunday. I praise God for this and I believe my husband's stopping his abuse of alcohol was completely due to my praying/fasting and God's intervention. My husband told me that the Saturday before Easter he was sitting in a local establishment thinking why am I doing this? My friends are all gone, I'm here alone and this really isn't fun. (Where was that thought process the last ten years?) Then, also, later that night as he was going to bed, he had thoughts about how much he had drunk, how he should be plastered (he wasn't) and how he wasn't having fun anymore. So he began the painful, long process of going "cold turkey" by himself!
About four weeks after this, I moved back home, and we have been working to make our life better without alcohol as a part of it. It was going pretty well.
Then, about the middle of July my husband started suffering with a bout of diarrhea. Then, it dragged on and on and on and three weeks later, we are sitting the doctor's office awaiting his colonoscopy. He had lost 30 pounds in three weeks. Another two weeks have passed and two more colonoscopies, and the doctors cannot definitively say he has cancer, but he most certainly has a rectal mass.
It was during one my husband's worst diarrhea episodes that God gave me Philippians 2:3. After a particularly bad day of cleaning carpets and bathrooms, I was feeling put upon when the Lord's spirit said, : Don't complain, don't say a word, clean it up as to the Lord, like you're doing it for the Lord." A couple of mornings later, my devotions contained this scripture and my heart was struck with the conviction of God that this is a test of my pride and my willingness to do whatever it takes to make my husband feel loved by me and by Jesus.
I really thought about those words. It seems like a lot of times I do have ulterior motives for what I do, I want people to like me and think I'm a loving, giving person, but God wants our only motive to be caring about the people we are serving.
If you have read this far, I ask for your prayers for me (again!) as I enter another time of testing of my faith and for my husband's health and being born again. He believes in Jesus, but I have not been a witness of total regeneration. Only the Lord knows for sure.
God bless you and yours and keep you healthy and safe.