"For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I thank God for this verse. It is very comforting to me to know that while my outward body is perishing more and more everyday, my inward man is being renewed and restored by the work of God's Holy Spirit.
This is especially comforting to me today, as I spent most of yesterday undergoing testing to determine if I am a good candidate for DBS surgery.
I had to stop taking my meds at 6 p.m. the night before, and my test was at 10:30 a.m. I was really unaware of just how badly my body has been destroyed by this terrible disease, but I had to face it yesterday.
If I did not have any medication, I would be twisted into a horrific ball of knots, I would think very, very slowly and muddily, and I would be in a wheelchair when I did need to be ambulatory.
It was not a picture of myself that I enjoyed looking at. I prayed through my tears, asking the Lord to help me endure, and He, of course, ever faithful, did not leave me, and neither did my sweet, loving husband, who shared the pain and sadness with me; quietly reaching out and touching my hand or patting my shoulder. I could see the pain and sadness in his eyes as they locked with mine.
Finally, the physician gave me my medication and within an hour or so I was mostly back to normal. I have knocked medication many times, and today I commit never to do that again. Today, I am ever so thankful to have meds through the grace of God which help me to live a mostly normal life. Without them, I would not. Needless to say, it was a very humbling experience.
It is hard for us to think of ourselves as not being whole and healthy. We like to think that our time is unlimited, but everyone of us, is perishing on the outside whether we want to face it or not. And if one has not dealt with the question of who Jesus Christ is, the inward man is perishing, too, and that's an even worse thing to contemplate. Who do you say that He is?
I have taken the first step towards DBS and now I place myself completely and comfortably in the hands of my God and my Savior and await our next step. I will rest in Him and think not about this life but the life to come and how I can glorify Him today with all that I have left to give, and He will renew the inner woman inside me...the important part.
Heavenly Father, I thank and praise you this morning for your faithfulness and the promises that you have made to me about my future. Even when this life is over, you have a plan for me that I can look forward to. So much of this life is disappointing and causes pain; thank you for giving me something to look forward to. I pray that you would be glorified in my life today and that all who pass this way will come to know you as their Lord and Savior. In your name and for your glory, I pray.