Friday, September 2, 2011

When the Son Doesn't Shine

A few weeks ago, I was in the car with some friends heading home when the southwestern part of the sky became filled with large, black, billowy clouds. All of a sudden, the rain started pouring down, it started thundering, and large, sharp, bolts of lightning streaked from the top of the clouds down to the ground. Needless to say, it was a little frightening. However, when you looked just a way off, in a more northwestern direction, the sun was shining as bright as at noon and there were absolutely no clouds around. We were all quite entranced by it.

Yesterday morning as I was walking along my quiet little country road, I could hear thunder getting closer and closer, so I walked faster and faster to make sure I got back home before the rain hit. Again, the western portion of the sky was black and the rain started pouring down. I could hear the thunder but I didn't see any lightning. The eastern sky was cloudless and the sun was shining.

I don't recall ever having thought about it before, the way the sky doesn't always get completely dark when it rains, but the thought hit me that even when the rain is pouring down and the storm is at its worst, the sun is still shining; you just can't see it.

I began to ponder this thought a bit because I thought maybe it was something the Lord wanted to speak to me through. I asked Him what it was that I was supposed to hear.

For the past three or four months, I feel like I've been caught up in a storm. There are a couple of situations in my home life that have been quite trying and then there has been my son's illness and trips back and forth to North Carolina and Ohio to see doctors who practice integrative medicine (rather than just shoving pills at you and trying to keep you medicated), and frankly, I just felt like I wasn't hearing God's voice.

In that moment, there on my country road, I felt like I heard God's voice telling me that even though I have been going through a great storm in my life, I haven't seen or heard Him because I wasn't working at it hard enough. I was caught up in my own agenda more than I was wanting to hear from Him, speak to Him, or try to find Him in the clouds of my day.

I want to take the time today to thank the Lord for reaching out to me and drawing me back to Him.

This morning, our electric went off for some unknown reason. We didn't have a storm so something else must have occurred. I woke up, though. I'm a light sleeper and because of the way our home is built, our bedroom (upstairs, over the garage) is very warm and the air conditioner does very little to help cool it, so I have three large fans blowing in there all the time in the summer and it's very noisy if you know what I mean.

So when I woke up, it was dead quiet and as dark as, ... well, night! I opened the windows and thankfully, there was a breeze blowing in so I just lay there looking out the window at the beautiful sky and the stars and I felt the Lord very close to me telling me the things He has wanted me to do which I have avoided and how He had to work in ways which would bring me to a place of having to do what He wanted.

Two years ago, more or less, the Lord told me to home school our son and in a dream around the same time, Lord told me to start teaching my son more in depth than Sunday school about Him. I diddled around with Bible study with my son, but didn't get serious about it, and well, of course, the home schooling thing went by the wayside.

On Tuesday, we begin our first year of home schooling and it is Bible based. It took my son's illness and the integrative medical doctors' strict diet and advice not to send him to school because of his problems to get me here, but here I am.

I've been setting up the school room and looking over the curriculum, and it's not a piece of cake. It's going to difficult, and my son is difficult. So, would you pray for me? I mean, pray for the Lord to give me what it takes to do this as unto Him; in a manner that will be pleasing to both the Lord and my son.

I guess the lesson I've learned is that just like nature, the storms in our life make it seem like God is not there because there's so many clouds, and the thunder is loud and the lightning distracting. But He IS there if we will only look harder for a glimpse of His light, listen more closely for His soft voice, and learn how to exercise our faith by doing the things we know He wants us to do even though it does not match up with our plans. After all, He has called us out of the darkness, to follow Him and His path is not the easy, well traveled path, but the hard-to-find, hard-to-stay on path.

I pray that today the Lord will open the eyes, ears and hearts of any who stumble upon this little blog to His greatness, His awesome power to forgive, His abundant mercy, and His unfailing love. I also pray that He will pour out His spirit on me in a new, fresh way which will cause me to become less and Him to become more, and I ask these things in Jesus' name and for His glory and honor.


  1. Kim
    I am praying for you. The truly amazing thing about our Father is, He is there even when we aren't searching or listening or seeking Him. He is always there for us regardless of the works we do or the effort on our part. He NEVER leaves us.

    love in Christ

  2. I am praying for you too. I know how difficult and overwhelming homeschooling can be even under the best circumstances.

    Be patient with your son, and especially with're learning too! Have fun with it as much as possible. Like Linda said, HE is there:)