As I look back over my christian life, I can clearly see that there have been occasions where the fruit of the spirit was evident in my life; that I was growing in the knowledge and understanding of God; and that God was using me to impact other peoples' lives.
But I feel like I've been living a life of christian mediocrity for some time and so I began to cry out to God for more of his holy spirit.
Yesterday I began reading Francis Chan's new book, "Forgotten God, Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit".
I would like to share this quote:
Right now i want you to take a break from reading and spend some time asking yourself why you want the Holy Spirit. Is it for power? Is it for your own betterment and purposes? Or is it because you want to experience all that God has for you? Is it because you love the church and desire to be a better servant to your sisters and brothers?
This really grabbed me, so I began to think about it and pray that God would show me the truth of why I wanted it? In all honesty, I'd have to say that for a time I wanted it just to have something to show; so I guess that's for my own purposes. But that has changed, and as I look deep, I know that the real answer is because I'm tired of living a lackluster life of spirituality. The God of the Bible is mighty, awesome, and powerful; moving ordinary, unskilled, uneducated, every-day Joes to to do unimaginable things, and my life as a christian looks so much like everyone else walking around today. I want to know the power that raised Christ from the dead; the power that spoke creation into being; the power that caused all the apostles to live lives that ended in martyrdom. I want it all. I want to be so sold out to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that I will die for it. I have reached the point of hating my life/soul!
“For whoever wishes to save his life (psuche - soul) will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”
"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.”
I'm there. I'm tired of praying for people and seeing no results. I'm tired of having no impact on my immediate family for God. I hate my christian-light life. I hate how little God uses me to help people. I'm tired of living a life that looks like everyone else around me. I guess I'm saying "here's my life, Lord, take it, always, only all for you".
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
*Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee