Okay, you can probably tell by the tone of my last several posts that I'm in a valley right now. My heart wants to be more and more like my Father, but my flesh is very, very unwilling. I am struggling every minute of every day to hear my Father's voice and to respond in obedience, love and acceptance of His plans for my life. Oh, but there are parts of me that are not happy about it...the fat, happy flesh of mine is quite content to stay fat and happy and is not willing to sacrifice anything that God is requiring of me. Needless to say, it puts a bit of stress and strife within me.
But the way of the cross, so I've been told, is never easy; so I am seeking God's help in focusing on the big picture - his picture - and trying to keep my mind on things that are pure, and good, and holy and true, and going on in faith that I am His and He is mine. I know I'm not going to get it right every time, every day, but this darn perfectionist trait I carry around on my back beats me up every time I fail in something. Perfectionism and pride, my two biggest enemies. I have struggled with them for years, and I know that God is telling me it's time for me to defeat these two enemies of mine. I am not perfect. As a matter of fact, it is only through His life within me that I even am able to have anything good within me.
I'm also learning that pride is a trait that is very bad, and it's one that parents are particularly strong about teaching our children. "Be proud", "we're so proud of you", "where's your pride"; schools teach it...Viking Pride; as a Realtor, I've always been oh, so happy, to list homes with "Pride of Ownership"!! It's everywhere. Pride was satan's downfall, and I certainly do not want it to be mine. Once you've learned to be proud, it's very hard to unlearn; take my word for it. God honors the humble, the meek and the poor in spirit.
One of my favorite blogs to follow is The Latter Days (the blog has nothing to do with The Latter Day Saints). Recent posts at The Latter Days have related to a project called The Fuel Project by Mark Fairley. I have watched quite a few of these videos, and in my humble opinions, they are excellent. If you go there, you will be A M A Z E D at what you will learn. I will not go so far as to say that everything He states is correct or perfect, but his theology agrees quite strongly with the Bible and christianity as I know it.
Here are several of the videos that I really found informative to get you started, and the one about the jezebel spirit was especially enlightening to me. I highly recommend these videos.
God's Master Plan
Plan A/Plan B
Ahab and Jezebel
The Jezebel Spirit