Saturday, October 30, 2010

You Sure Wouldn't Think I'd Screw That Up

After two blog posts about learning to rest in Christ and let Him live in and work through me and cutting things that are not of Him out of my flesh, you certainly wouldn't think that I would mess up as thoroughly as I just did. Let me tell you about it.

I was getting my hair cut. I am well acquainted with my stylist, so she knows my family, so of course, we were getting caught up and she asked me what my son was dressing up as to go out trick or treating. I said he wasn't going trick or treating. You could see the confusion on her face as she asked, "Oh, why? Would he like to come and go out with us?" I told her no that we lived in the country and that I just didn't want to take him in to town to go trick or treating, and we left it at that and you know what, I didn't give it another thought. The thing was, my answer was so glib; it just came out of me.

That night, as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I was going through my mind, re-living the day; thinking how I might have done some thing differently and if I had listened to the holy spirit, when it hit me...what I had said to her about trick or treating. I ran the whole conversation back through my mind, replaying it in my mind and really thought about what I had said. How did I ever let that go like that?

The truth is that God has convicted me about being in the world but not of the world, and in accordance with Revelation 18:4, that I need to come out of the world and not take part of the things that everyone else is taking part in. In other words, instead of coming out and saying that I felt that God had convicted me about taking part in halloween and that I was feeling led to not take part in the holiday (and thus, so, too, my son would not be taking part in the holiday), I gave her some lame excuse about living in the country!

I got on my knees and asked for forgiveness. All I could think about was Jesus saying that if we are ashamed of Him before people here on earth, he will be ashamed of us before God in heaven. Matthew 10:32, 33

Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

So, I made it a point to confess my sin, not only to the Father, but also to a friend yesterday, and then I fasted yesterday -- not from food but from another important (maybe too much so) item in my life, the internet.

Thank God that His mercies are new every morning, because it seems like my screw ups are new every evening!


  1. Aw, Kim, that was a sweet post. I mourn lost opportunities too. But it doesn't seem like you were ashamed of Him, per se, but was busy and thinking of other things at the moment. I KNOW you are not ashamed! You can always ask Him to send you prepared hearts and more opportunities... He is gracious and kind to His children that way

  2. I agree with Elizabeth....oh how we beat ourselves up!