After a week end spent catering to the delights of my now 11 year old son, I decided to spend some extra time in the Word and prayer since I had some additional free time. I read for about 30 minutes, and I then picked up my computer and started perusing some blog sites that I like to follow and ended up at Steve Koerper's Anakypto Forums Homework Site. I decided to do the homework assignment Pre-Trib Rapture October 8, 2010, and then I even went so far as to listen to the Blog Talk Radio program at the bottom of the blog post. It was all about The Rapture...you know, that event that takes all born-again believers out of this World directly to heaven to be with Christ just prior to the beginning of the final 7 years of this age, known as the Tribulation but also and probably most accurately, the time of Jacob's Trouble.
I have been watching and waiting for the return of Christ for the past two years. I'm not sure why God, in His goodness, decided to let me in on His plan, but He did. I had accepted Christ as my Savior years ago. I can remember studying about end times prophecies about 20 years or so ago but I never dreamed that these things might occur in my lifetime. I had a long spiritual dry spell where I took my life out of God's hands and decided to go it on my own. I became caught up, so to speak, in the trappings of this world. I became a successful real estate agent (my last year, according to MLS, I was in the top 20 Realtors in my area), so I was all about making money, being well known, acquiring "stuff", being with my demi-god husband and child, and fitting God into my life whenever I had a spare minute. Unfortunately for me, I was diagnosed with parkinson's disease about ten years ago and up until about 2 1/2 years ago, had not seen a huge amount of difference in my mobility/overall health.
Out of the blue, while having a conversation with my neurologist one day, it hit me that I was experiencing obsessive, compulsive behavior. My doctor told me he had to take me off one particular drug which had a history of causing this particular side effect, and the next thing I know, I am in bed and sick as a dog with symptoms I won't bore you with.
There began a journey that God has had me on for the past 2 1/2 years. One which brought me to His side with a greater knowledge and appreciation of who He is, what He has done for me and how much He loves me. The journey He has had me on started with learning how big businesses like Monsanto don't care one whit about me or the food I eat, so they have no compulsion to produce good food but are all about destroying what God made in its perfection and giving people instead a replication, or false, genetically modified food, in order to control all the food in the world; then I discovered that the government isn't really concerned about me, the little person, but how it's all about money and power. Can you believe that at age 50 I still thought the government really cared about me and was working for my benefit? Yeah, really!
Then He showed me that He really is the only one who truly loves and cares about me and that He is returning soon. Thanks be to God for you bloggers out there who have been watching and waiting for His return. It is through you, that I, too, started watching, waiting and believing. I can remember studying the book of Revelation about 20 years or so ago, but I never dreamed that those things would happen in my lifetime. However, as I study and learn, it becomes apparent to me that we are truly living in the time when Christ will return for His church and God will re-commence bringing the nation of Israel into relationship with Himself and His son, the Redeemer and Israel's Messiah, Jesus Christ.
Because I have been struggling with some issues that God is trying to get me to give up for His sake, I have been feeling beaten down; the accuser has been working overtime on me! As I listened to the blog post radio program, my mind started thinking about what if I were left behind? How awful would it be for me to realize that the Church had been raptured but God did not think I was worthy? That is a terrifying thought, let me tell you.
If we all took time to think about that terrifying scenario everyday, believe me, we'd all be walking a much straighter, narrower path. I know, I know, it's not about works and there's nothing I can do to justify myself or make myself worthy, only Jesus can, but His Word says 1) if we love Him, we will obey Him; 2)faith without works is dead; 3) people will know we're Christians by our love and our actions; and 4) many will say, Lord, Lord, didn't we do this and that in your name and he will tell them to depart because He never knew them.
I immediately performed self-evaluation, confession and some sincere crying and repenting. I told my husband and son what I was so upset about, asked them for forgiveness for things I had said or done which I felt needed confessing and asked them to pray with me.
If you are not 100% sure that if Christ returned tonight, you would go with Him, please stop reading now and get down on your knees and seek His face. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you and ask Him not to leave you alone until you understand His gift of salvation and His great love for you. Ask Him to show you where you need to repent and ask Him for forgiveness for those things. Pray that He will send His spirit to live within you and then seek to serve Him and live your life striving to glorify Him for however many days you have left. Be ready, be watching, and if He comes soon, Praise God!!! He may tarry, though, so don't lose hope or give up; He WILL return.